“Unsubscribe”
By Mort Laitner
I turned on CNN. A talking head announced that it was now an official holiday. The president had signed it into law. Congress had approved it in an effort to get higher productivity from the labor force. Too many workers were spending their work hours reading unwanted emails. This behavior had to stop. The American economy needed a fix.
Today was “Unsubscribe Day.” A holiday in which all Americans were requested to log on, tune in and unsubscribe.
I grabbed my iPad. I started reading my emails. I searched on the bottom of my screen for that little blue word. I had the power to end this daily torture. With a straight-pointing index finger, I pounded on that eleven-letter word.
Time after time the ax fell on my screen.
Catharsis flowed through my veins.
Free at last from these annoying cyber commercials.
Then I started to chant:
“Groupon you’re gone.”
“Bye-bye Best Buy.”
“Take a vacation Travelocity”
“Pinterest you have lost my interest”
Relaxed and refreshed, I went back to CNN to see what the Donald was up to.
The readers speak:
Published in The Authors’ Voice Issue 6 October 2015
Great—how about writing a poem about “spam”—just as Walt Whitman reflected the times he lived in with his poetry, you are doing the same for our period.—Lennie
You are so cool Mort—Susanna
Funny. —Cami
Wow— Elaine
Very current—Ricki
Very clever—Bob
Good for you Mort.—Jeff
Funny!— Steve
Very cute. I do hit that unsubscribe button now and again and then take in a breath of fresh air.—Lois
Ten “likes” on Facebook
