“Report Card” Serious Satire by Mort Laitner
Melania studied the opulence of the presidential suite in Helsinki’s finest hotel.
What a day! My husband and Putin met for two hours, I wonder what they talked
about?
Did they cut any deals?
Are we getting permission to build Trump Tower in Moscow?”
As her thoughts ran wild with speculation, she observed the President’s suit jacket lying
on the floor.
“What a slob! I can never get him to change his habits. Can’t he ever hang up his own clothes?
As Melania lifted the jacket, her hand brushed across the pocket.
“There’s a piece of paper in the pocket.”
He had told her on innumerable occasions, “Never rifle through my pockets!”
“What’s that saying about curiosity and cats,” she pondered while pulling the note out of
the pocket.
Her eyes scanned the document.
Donald Trump’s Report Card
Destroying America————“A”
Creating a fascist republic——“B”
Lying to the American people—-“A”
Destroying trust in the media—“A”
Working for Russian interests——“B”
Destroying U.S. intelligence agencies–“B”
Creating a cult of personality in the Republican Party—“A”
Committing treason——————“A”
Making Americans distrustful in one another—–“A”
Rigging Elections————————-“A”
Destroying NATO and other U.S. partnerships——“C”
Destroying U.S. economy————–“C”
Destroying U.S. environment—————-“A”
Now Melania slowed down to study what was written in the personal comments section.
Donald you are making steady progress toward attaining your goals.
Keep up the good work.
One day soon you will have complete control of your nation and your people.
Remember that we will always protect you and be at your side,
Your mentor,
Vladimir
Melania slipped the note back in the pocket and threw the jacket on the floor as she
remembered some of the grades on her report cards.
