Breaking News — Fox News has just learned how the movie “Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan” swung the election in favor of President-elect Joseph Biden.
We have interviewed a former Cambridge Analytics computer expert to explain the methodology she used in swaying the voters in this modern-day election. Due to privacy and security concerns, this expert has requested and we have granted her anonymity. Therefore, her voice has been modified and her face obscured.
Reporter: Please describe for our viewers, how you determined that Donald Trump would lose the presidential election due to this ‘Borat 2’ movie.
Expert: Well, it’s a long process. So for your viewers, I’m going to start in the very beginning. First we determined what States in 2020 would be the “Swing States.”
Reporter: Well you didn’t need a computer to compile that list—did you?
Expert: You’re right. But then we compiled a list of all undecided voters or voters leaning in the direction of Joe Biden or leaning away from Trump in those swing states. Using their Snapchat, FaceBook, TikTok and Instagram pages, we collected over 5,000 behavioral points on each of those so-called “undecideds” in our effort determine what would persuade them to commit to Biden.
Reporter: I bet there were a whole lot of young first-time voters on that list.
Expert: Yes sir. You’re right about that.
Reporter: Well, so far that’s a lot of work you’ve done. Did you get properly compensated for this job?
Expert: Yes sir. We are one of the best global election management agencies. We’re handsomely compensated for our work. There aren’t many people smart enough to create the algorithms needed for this type of project. But please allow me to come to the point where we really earn our pay. We had to plant something in the minds of those swing voters that would be so outrageous that it would stop them for voting for Trump.
Reporter: So what did you do?
Expert: With our 5,000 behavioral points of light, we determined that if President Trump’s personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, could be caught on film, laying on a hotel bed, putting his hands down his pants in front of a beautiful young blonde that, that image alone would be so repulsive to these undetermined voters that they would vote Biden.
We also knew that Rudy would lie and say, “I always tuck in my shirt while lying in a prone position in a hotel bed talking to a hot blonde.”
What surprised us is that he didn’t say, he was looking for Hunter Biden’s laptop down there.
So of course we flooded the undetermineds internet pages with “Borat” commercials to make sure they’d watch the movie when it came out.
But getting Sasha Baron Cohen to unwittingly incorporate such a scene in his film also took some hard work on our part. Sasha is a pretty smart guy. But we convinced him.
But when Cohen released the film before the election, with the Giuliani scene in it, we knew our work was done. We knew Biden had the election in the bag. Hard work pays off.
Reporter: Aren’t you fearful what the President may do to Rudy after he learns that Rudy cost him the election?
Expert: Well there is an old saying in Kazakhstan, “When you sleep with big dogs you can expect to get a whole bunch of fleas.”
Reporter: That reminds me of a New York City mob saying, “When you play in the big leagues you better be ready to swim with the fishes.”
Comments: Thumbs up.—Joan, Jonathan, Norman, and Bill
Fascinating—Rita
Thumbs up.—Eric
Hi, Mort, interesting. Still have to wait till Joe moves in and we pray for Ga to turn the Senate.—Joe
Joe, I totally agree. Mort
Ha-ha.—Aimee
Thumbs up.—Perry and Aimee
