Hooray, I made it!

It took a long time but now I’m officially a two-hit wonder.

Is there such a thing?

I don’t know.

But if there is, I’m one.

And that’s pretty, pretty amazing.

In the immortal words of the Great One, “How sweet it is!”

You my readers, will remember two years ago when I asked, “Will I ever have another hit?”

Well, it happened.

My first rap song entitled, “Kanye, Betta Watch Yo Mouth Rap” went viral.

So for 40 consecutive days and nights, my name appeared on the Times of Israel’s Popular Bloggers List. (For TOI bloggers this feat is equivalent to being on the NYT  Best Seller list for 40 weeks)

And yes, 40 is a  mystical and Biblical number.

Readers, I bet you didn’t know that the number forty is the only number in English whose letters appear in alphabetical order

Noah’s journey in the rain, on his ark, lasted for 40 days and 40 nights.

While on my TOI travels, I was flooded in my sea of love and good luck.

And drenched in a deluge of happiness.

Moses and his people trekked through the wilderness for 40 years.

As I for 40 days, scanned for my name on that list.

Yes, for 40 days, I trekked to my desktop to see my promised land.

“What chutzpah!” you yell.

What a ginormous ego!

Who does that pipsqueak think he is?

A man with no penchant for prose dares to compare his writing journey to the Bible’s sages and sagas.

“But please pay attention. I make no such comparison,” I reply.

I only focus in on the number 40.

And now, may I be allowed to sing my song of sweet success.

“Of course,” you say.

And I sing:

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles,

G-d took this blogger by the hand

Turned him around and miracles of miracles led him to the promised land!

My readers chuckle.

And as they laugh, I stop singing from Fiddler to write this missive.

And while writing, I pray for admission to the three-hit wonder club.

I ask, “Will that event ever happen?”

“Only Hashem knows.” you reply.

But I promise you my readers, to keep writing my stories in search of the answer.

1.Thumbs up.—Bob

2.Thumbs up.—Aimee

3.Thumbs up.—Becky

4. Thumbs up.—Barry

5. Thumbs up.—Naomi

6. Thumbs up.—James

7. Thumbs up.—Connie

8. Thumbs up.—Marilyn

9. Thumbs up.—Connie

10. Fantastic!—Joe

11. Way to go!—Perry

12. HAZZAH!—David

13. Congrats. —Phyliss

14. Thumbs up.—Sima

15. Mazel tov.—Joanne

16. Mort, You are the quintessential writer of the millennium! Keep on writing! Richie

17. Mazel Tov!—Roger

18. Congratulations.—Christine

19. Thumbs up.—Susan

20. Thumbs up.—Blake

21. You’ve never been a one-hit wonder. In our books you’re a star.—Ward

22. Thumbs up.—Linda

23. That’s terrific.—Louis

24. Thumbs up.—Deborah

25. Thumbs up.—Laurie

26. Thumbs up.—Martha

27. Congratulations. Thumbs up.—Gary

28. Thumbs up.—Susan

29. Fantastic.—Joe

30. Hooray!—Joseph

31. Congratulations! Thumbs up.—Gary

32. Thumbs up.—Susan

33. Congrats! And here’s to many more!!!—Rebecca

34. Mazel tov.—Sharon

35. Mazel tov.—Scott

36. Thumbs up.—Lee

37. Mazel tov. Thumbs up.—Karrie

38. Thumbs up.—Judie

39. Thumbs up.—Albert

40. Thumbs up.—Doris

41. Thumbs up.—Robert

42. Thumbs up.—Jonathan

43. Thumbs up.—Daniel

44. Thumbs up.—Janet

45. Thumbs up.—Phil

46. Thumbs up.—Max

47. Thumbs up.—Phyllis

48. Thumbs up.—Christine

49. Congratulations for being a source of personal encouragement to me.. . even though you may not know it.— Mervyn

50. Thumbs up.—Maureen

51. Thumbs up. Nice.—Robin

52. Thumbs up.—Susan

53. Thumbs up.—Ken

54. Thumbs up.—Joel

55. Thumbs up.—Sandy

56. Thumbs up.—Ritch

57. Thumbs up.—Albert

58. Thumbs up.—Todd

Life Lesson #1—Quality Matters

We’re on the road in Eugene, Oregon.

We’re at the Metro Theater for the Oregon Premiere of “We Need Rent Money.“

The movie has been selected for viewing by the Oregon Independent Film Festival.

 This is the second time I’m seeing the movie on a large screen.

But the Metro Theater has a Dolby Sound System and a great projection system.

I am astounded by the richness of the sound and the pixels on the screen.

 I can clearly hear every word.

The movie looks so crisp.

I realize how much I love this film and that in life quality matters.

Life Lesson #2—When your dispensing sad news throw in a kind word

We’re reviewing our emails to see if  “We Need Rent Money” has won another award, when we read a rejection letter from the Dances With Wolves L.A. Film Festival.

But this rejection letter is different.

It has a encouraging comment from their selection committee.

WNRM has a “creative script with a dedicated cast. Off-the-wall absurdist entertainment.”

Those two sentences made my day.

And reminded me of the importance of being kind.

You can call it “sugar coating” or “throwing a bone” but going the extra mile by adding a few words of praise is an extraordinary act of kindness.

Life Lesson #3—End your emails on a positive note

Focus International Film Festival, which awarded WNRM the Silver Award Comedy Feature Film Award closes their email with:

“Congratulations on your wins and very best wishes on a successful festival run.”

Dances With Wolves L.A. Film Festival ends their emails with:

“We wish you the best of luck on your cinematic journey.”

Well, following our own advice, WNRM wishes you a delicious Thanksgiving turkey and a happy and healthy holiday season.

Blake and Mort

1. Thumbs up.—Perry

2. Thumbs up.—Aimee

3.

DWF:LA	Fri, Nov 25, 9:55 AM (1 day ago)
to me

Hi Mort ~
Wanted you to know that your kind words are very appreciated as well.
Hopefully your holiday season will be fruitful with more wins and exposure for WNRM!
All the best,
MaryTeam DWF

4. John Anthony Castro liked 8 of your Tweets

On November 9, 2022, I was fortunate enough to be assigned by Gentlemen’s Quarterly (GQ) to interview Kanye West. Yes, that publication that focuses on fashion, style and culture for men allowed me to talk to the fallen giant.

Yes, I got to go to Kanye’s West Lake Ranch,—outside of Cody, Wyoming—for the interview and the cover shoot. Yes, West Lake Ranch measures a whooping 3,888 acres. Yes, we sipped on 1980 Dom Perignon and nibbled on Beluga Sturgeon caviar hors d’oeuvres.  Yes, the champagne bubbles tickled my nostrils and the caviar melted like butter in my mouth. Yes, I got to interview the man that changed the sound of popular music. And then revolutionized fashion and sneakers. And now has moved on to redesigning antisemitism.

Here are verbatim excerpts from that interview.

GQ: Mr. West it’s a pleasure meeting you. Thanks for sitting down with me on your beautiful ranch for this interview.

First off, may I call you Kanye or should I address you as Ye?

Kanye: No, no, no, just address me as the King of All Antisemites.

GQ: Are you sure that’s what you want me to call you in my article?

Kanye: Definitely.

GQ: Well, King of All Antisemites, I want to congratulate you on your new clothing and jewelry line. It’s quite impressive.

Kanye: Thanks.

GQ: But before we talk about your new line, I guess from your previous statement, you’ve decided not to apologize to the Jews for threatening their lives.

Kanye: Ye never apologizes to anybody, especially not the Jews. Those Jews can kiss my royal black ass. They’ve cost me over two billion dollars. But I got even. I fired all the Jews from my empire. Yeah, I did one helluva house cleaning. I’m talking my Jewish lawyers, accountants, promoters, marketers and designers. My empire is now Juden frei. Which is kinda funny because even as a little kid, I was infatuated with Hitler. I praised Hitler. I wondered, “How incredible it was that he was able to accumulate so much power.” I talked about all the great things he and the Nazi Party achieved for the German people. I even wanted to name one of my albums after Hitler but my record label wouldn’t let me. But I did bring my copy of the Cliff Notes for Mein Kampf to the White House as a personal gift for 45. He gave me the warmest handshake when I handed him the book.

But enough about me. My new line is getting a whole new group of fans. Honest people who just love hating Jews.

GQ: Who are these new fans?

Kanye: Well, here are some examples. At the Florida-Georgia football game, one of my fans projected, “Kanye is right about the Jews” on stadium screens. And in L.A., a group of sieg heiling neo-Nazis hung a banner over the freeway saying, “Kanye is Right About The Jews” That’s a lot of free publicity. And I’m gonna turn that publicity into dollars—billions of dollars. And I’m gonna get these redneck men from holding their pants up with suspenders to wearing cashmere. And I’m gonna get their women folk from crayons to perfume. You’ll see. You’ll see.

GQ: Okay, let’s move on to another issue. I’ve recently read that you’ve been tipped off that there’s a Jewish conspiracy to put your new line out of business. What can you tell us about this conspiracy?

Kanye: Well, I first read about it in the Jerusalem Post. The Hebs have a plan to make replicas of my clothing in China and then ship them to Miami Beach. Then they are going to distribute the clothing to old Jews. I think they call the old Jews, “alta cockers.”

These alta cockers will parade up and down Collins Avenue and Ocean Drive wearing imitations of my new look.

Then they’re going to blast pictures of those alta cockers all over the net. Yeah, on  FaceBook, Instagram, YouTube and Twitter.  They’re trying to upset my 18 million followers.

Their strategy may work. I ask you, “What self-respecting teenager or metrosexual will buy my stuff after they see those “alta cockers” photos on Instagram.”

And now I’m having a tough time finding any attorneys to file an injunction to stop these hoodlums and their conspiracy.

GQ: Well, King of All Anti-Semites, what can you disclose about your new line?

Kanye: Well, my blue and white high top sneakers are initialed DC3TJP in blood red.

I think they’ll sell out in days.

My women’s multi-colored rain coat line has the words, “Kanye Was Right About The Jewish People” embroidered  on their backs with yellow lettering done up in a Breitkopf Fraktur font.

And I’ve created a white satin robe ensemble with a pointed hoodie. I’m putting my new name on those sheets:

King of all Anti-SemiteS

King of all Anti-SemiteS

King of all Anti-SemiteS.

I predict they’ll be all the rage on the catwalks of Paris, New York, London and Milan.

GQ: Kanye, congratulations on continuing to be a trailblazer in the field of fashion. You’re taking your new line in a whole new direction. And I want to wish you much success in your new endeavors. Thanks again for your hospitality and for granting me this very informative interview.

Kanye: You’re so welcome. I hope to be reading this interview in the next edition of GQ. I can’t wait to see my face on the cover of your great magazine. You know that I’ve been on GQ‘s cover like 20 times.  By the time this new edition hits the newsstands, this whole Jew bashing of me will blow over. I’ll be old news. The Jews will move on to another anti-Semite like Elon Musk. You’ll see. You’ll see.