December 11, 2022

Dear Mort Laitner:

Hanukkah sameach!

My name is Abe Goldberg and you probably have never heard of me, but I’m the President of Jewish Republicans for Trump 2024.

My small organization has a big problem.

And one of our members suggests that you might be the right person to help us solve it.

That member regularly reads your blogs in The Times of Israel.

He claims you know how to get right to the point and you write from your heart.

And we need your help.

So here’s our problem.

Around week or so ago, former President Trump publically criticized Jewish leaders for not expressing enough “loyalty” toward him after he broke bread, in his home, with two rabid anti-Semites (West and Fuentes).

You see after the media uproar about his dinner with Kanye and Nick ended in his total disgrace, our ex-president needed someone to blame. So of course, he blamed us and said, “Jewish leaders forgot that I was the best by far, President for Israel. They should be ‘ashamed’ of themselves.”

Well, my board of directors met to discuss this thorny issue; we came to the conclusion that we needed a man with your expertise, with your ability to write a concise, factual letter that will meet with Mr. Trump’s approval.

Ergo, we are requesting that you ghost write our letter of apology, shame and contrition to the former president for not supporting his disgusting behavoir in Mar-a-Lago.

If you agree to accept this assignment, please email us your draft to JRfT2024.com. If we find your letter satisfactory, we shall pay you handsomely for your work.

Sincerely yours,

//Signed

Abe Goldberg, President of Jewish Republicans for Trump 2024

—————————————

December 12, 2022

Dear Abe Goldberg:

Chag sameach!

I thank you and your organization for the honor and opportunity to ghost write your letter to Donald Trump.

Here is my draft for your consideration.

Dear Former President Donald Trump:

Pursuant to your request and on behalf of Jewish Republicans for Trump 2024, please accept this letter as a humble attempt of fulfilling your infantile need for attention.

First of all, “What have you done for us lately?”

“Absolutely nothing!

But give us tsuris.”

Not even a Hanukkah card with you flipping latkes at Mar-a-Lago.

Other than crying like a little baby, “I didn’t know Fuentes was a neo-Nazi. Kanye tricked me when he brought him over to my house.”

What an amateur move.

And you claim to be a player.

But you imply that it’s okay for you to invite “Wannabe-Jew-Killer” Kanye to your frigging home.

What the hell were you thinking?

And then you don’t have the guts or the testicles to say:

I’m sorry.

I’m ashamed of my stupid behavior.

I made a mistake.

I won’t do it again.

And while you’re saying sorry, why don’t you apologize for lighting the fuse to the largest anti-Semitic time bomb in American history.

You are a shonda, a total disgrace to humanity.

A man with no shame for his abhorrent behavior and no loyalty to anyone but himself.

Sir, you have brought shame upon us all.

Sir, we are sorry to inform you that, “We no longer have any loyalty toward you. We are ashamed to have ever supported you.”

And in the 2024 campaign we will be supporting Ron DeSantis or Nikki Haley.

Sincerely yours,

//Signed

Abe Goldberg, President of Jewish Republicans for DeSantis or Haley 2024

May 13, 2016

I proudly posted the following blog:

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles “The Stairs” has been selected by the Near Nazareth International Film Festival (NFF) of Afula, Israel, to be included in its festival.

“Wow, our short indie film will play to an Israeli audience,” I thought.

We’re in a film festival that serves to strengthen mutual understanding and friendship between the peoples of the world. Through cooperation with movie lovers from around the world.

Filmmakers from 65 countries participate in this festival.

And the best ones are shown at its venue in the Poznack Community Center in Givat Ha-More.

Then I thought, “Being accepted to the Near Nazareth Film Festival may not be “the most miraculous miracle of them all” but it feels damn good.”

And it felt damn good, when “The Stairs” won NNF’s laurels and a certificate.

And it still feels damn good when I look at my framed certificate resting on my desk.

And it still feels damn good knowing that The Stairs was my first father/son film project.Composition with cola, film-strip, popcorn, tickets on blue background. Entertainment series.

December 5, 2022,

Today, I proudly post that my son, film director, Blake Laitner’s coming-of-age, feature-length film, “We Need Rent Money” was awarded semi-finalist status from Near Nazareth.

Yes, the same festival that we won six years ago.

And here’s what NNF said this year:

Congrats, “We Need Rent Money” has been selected for this year’s festival.

Your project was submitted for participation and judging in the Semi-Finalist category of our festival.

So you may ask. “What’s happened to this film festival in the last six years?”

Well, Near Nazareth has a powerful new motto, “Art is life.”

A motto only artists fully understand.

And Near Nazareth’s film submissions have reached 3500.

And in 2022, filmmakers from 65 countries participated in the festival.

And again, the Laitner family won laurels and a certificate.

And again, the festival is being held in the Poznack Community Center in Givat Ha-More, Israel.

And again, I realized that Blake and I have something in common.

We understand that “Art is life.”

When Benjamin Netanyahu, Israel’s former and future Prime Minister, called former US President Donald Trump’s evening soiree with Kanye West and Nick Fuentes a ‘mistake,’ I was and I still am outraged.

A mistake is when I forget to take out the garbage or turn off the lights.

A mistake is not when I invite a man, who calls for the “Death of the Jewish People” to break bread in my home.

A mistake is not when I forget to vet the scum in Kanye West’s entourage. The scum who espouses that my country be turned into a Christian nation; denies the very existence of the Holocaust; who carried a lit torch down Charlottesville’s streets yelling, “The Jews Shall Not Replace Us.”.

Those ain’t mistakes.

They’re shondas—disgraces of the highest degree, total scandals, terrible embarrassments.

I’d like to give Bibi a little leeway because he’s a politician. But he knows that Jewish politicians are held up to a higher standard—one of repairing this world.

I pause to wonder, “What would Winston Churchill have called the Trump ‘mistake?’”

Who knows, but he would not have called it a ‘mistake.’

Bibi knows we Jews are wordsmiths.

We’re a people who for thousands of years we have studied words.

Bibi’s grandfather, who was a writer, must have shuttered at his grandson’s inability to come up with a proper phrase.

Why didn’t Bibi study the words of some of our modern authors like Malamud, Kafka, Roth or Singer?

Yes, Bibi knows that we Jews have written some of the greatest literature ever written.

And we know, that Bibi, as a kid, studied English in the Philly school system, where they teach how and when to use adjectives.

For example, Bibi could have said: a collossal mistake, a huge mistake, a terrible mistake but he didn’t.

And that was one helluva big mistake.