“Mort, the presidential election is 259 days away and I’m getting a bissel nervous because Mr.-$399-Gold-Sneakers may win.”

“Moshe, me too. I’d love to take a leak in one of those gold sneakers. It would feel so good.”

“Well, mister smart guy, what can we do to assure that that insurrectionist, killer of women’s rights, rapist clown doesn’t get re-elected?”

“Since, Mr.-I-Don’t-Give-A-Shit-About-Israel-In-Its-Greatest-Time-Of-Need is ordering Republican members of Congress not to vote for aid to Israel, I’ve been doing a lot more thinking about that crooked schmuck. And I came up with a solution, that I’ve called: Join The Anti-Trump Election Countdown Social Media Bombardment Army.”

“That’s a mouthful but it’s catchy. How do I enlist?”

“Well, to join the Bombardment Army you need the following tools or as I like to call them, Weapons of Trump’s Demise (WTD). Now please write this down.”

Moshe removed a Sharpie Fine Point from his shirt’s pocket and a piece of white paper from his brown wallet. “I’m ready, when you are. Shoot away.”

“Get a pen or pencil, a 2024 desk calendar and sit next to your computer. A desktop, laptop or iPhone will do. Now every day, from now to election day, you commit to giving 15 minutes a day to posting, sharing or writing anti-Trump stuff all over the internet. You clock in as if you’re on the job. After your 15 minutes is up, you pat yourself on the back for doing your best to fight for freedom, democracy, decency, truth, NATO, Ukraine, Israel and world peace.”

“You mean that all I have to do is to go on Facebook, X, Twitter, Threads and Instagram and post away like a madman about a madman and I’ve done my part to keep Donnie out of the White House?”

“Exactly.”

“Mort, time is flying by. Before you know it it will be November. I’ll clock in and start sharing, writing and posting tonight. I’ll tell my Facebook friends and the groups I belong to, to join the call. Thousands of people will read my posts. Hopefully,  I’ll get some thumbs up and a lot of shares. Mort, I’ll get a bunch of my friends to join your army. We’ll flood the net, create an electronic deluge and remind everybody how important it is to vote on November 5th. We’ll put 354 million nails in that fraudster’s political coffin.”

AI created picture

Times of Israel bloggers, this blog is for you.

Yes, you 30,000 strong, group of scribblers.

Yes, you guys and gals sitting in front of your laptops scratching your head, hitting the keys and trying to put your thoughts on paper.

While in the back of your head, you’re wondering:

Is anybody reading my stories?

Will any reader comment on my blog?

Why am I doing this?

What do other TOI bloggers think about my craft?

Are they enjoying the themes I write about?

What about my writing style/my prose?

Will I ever be rewarded for all my hard work?

Well, while you’re waiting for those words of praise or even a lukewarm comment, here’s something you can do, in hope of garnishing some praise.

Go to ChatGPT and find out if your writing is appreciated in the world of AI.

In this world of rapidly developing technology you may get lucky.

So go ahead and ask ChatGPT, “Who is the writer (fill in your name?)”

A year ago, I did this and ChatGPT wrote a bunch of incorrect gibberish about me.

I laughed and thought, “AI has a long way to go.”

But I knew, I’d try it again.

Well, twelve months after my first request. I tried again.

Who is the writer Mort Laitner?

ChatGPT quickly responded:

Mort Laitner is an American author and poet. He is known for his works that often explore themes of love, loss, and the human connection. Laitner has published several books of poetry and prose, including “A Hebraic Obsession.”  His writing style is characterized by its emotional depth and introspection. Laitner’s works have garnered praise for their heartfelt expression and keen insight into the human experience.

Now, of course, I love AI.

Who knew AI was so smart.

Now, Mr. or Ms. TOI Blogger it’s your turn.

Give it a try.

What can it hurt?

The worst that can happen is you’ll get some incorrect gibberish or you might get a big serving of love.

As the president of one of America’s largest writers organizations, I have often been asked, “Mort, do writers make better lovers?”

I respond with a hearty, “How-the-hell-would-I-know.”

But now, through years of diligent research, I have determined that most writers are better equipped to handle the complexities of coitus than plumbers, doctors or Indian chiefs.

“Why?” you may ask.

Well, writers are complex beings, with complex egos.

They possess many attributes like:

1. They’re adventurous bed partners. And as we all know, what happens under the covers is always one hell of an adventure.
2. They’re creative. But did you know that creativity greases the road to pleasure. While repetitiveness leads to monotony and monotony leads to snoring and snoring leads to frustration. You get the point.
3. They’re great communicators or at least some are. Authors are not afraid to say what’s on their mind. And when it comes to sex, that’s quite important. Good verbal banter often leads to heated foreplay.
4. They’re passionate. And passion leads to multiple “I love you(s).” And those three small words help achieve multiple you know what(s). Don’t forget that passion also leads to many more love letters, love notes, poems and Hallmark Valentines Day cards.
5. Most writers love their partners unconditionally. This is a great attribute because nobody wants to hear, “Honey, your doing it wrong,” while they’re in the heat of passion. An author may write about your flaws and imperfections but he/she won’t bring them up while your under the sheets.
6. Most writers are sexy and know how to walk the walk and talk the talk. Well, at least the ones that write romance novels or scripts for X-rated films.
7. Most authors are romantics, especially the poets and the song writers. They obsess on the word “love.”

So if you want to be more proficient in bedroom, join us on the first Saturday of every month, in the Pinecrest Library’s Conference Room at 10:30.

Become the writer/lover you always wanted to be.

You won’t regret it.

Disclaimer

The skill or talent of a writer doesn’t inherently correlate with their abilities in bed. Writing is a creative pursuit that requires a different set of skills and attributes than those involved in intimate relationships. While some writers may possess qualities such as empathy, sensitivity, and imagination that could potentially enhance their interpersonal relationships, it ultimately depends on the individual and their personal qualities, experiences, and efforts in cultivating healthy and fulfilling relationships. So, being a good writer doesn’t necessarily translate to being good or bad in bed; it’s more about the individual’s attitudes, communication skills, and willingness to connect with their partner.—Chat GPT

Thumbs up:

Marilyn;

Sue;

Richard;

Max;

Cary;

Peter;

Judy;

Neil;

Haven’t fallen for any authors, sorry.—Sylvia;

Maggi;

Ken;

12. Howard;

Joanne;

Michelle;

Bella;

Patrick;

Shana;

18. Jeffrey;

Ritch;

Irving;

Jean—Definitely;

Andy;

Avril;

Laurie

25. Joan;

Neil;

Deborah;

South Florida Writers Connection;

Like the disclaimer.—Perry;

30. Dot;