“Report Card” by Mort Laitner

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“Report Card” Serious Satire by Mort Laitner

Melania studied the opulence of the presidential suite in Helsinki’s finest hotel.

What a day! My husband and Putin met for two hours, I wonder what they talked

about?

Did they cut any deals?

Are we getting permission to build Trump Tower in Moscow?”

As her thoughts ran wild with speculation, she observed the President’s suit jacket lying

on the floor.

“What a slob! I can never get him to change his habits. Can’t he ever hang up his own clothes?

 As Melania lifted the jacket, her hand brushed across the pocket.

“There’s a piece of paper in the pocket.”

He had told her on innumerable occasions, “Never rifle through my pockets!”

“What’s that saying about curiosity and cats,” she pondered while pulling the note out of

the pocket.

Her eyes scanned the document.

Donald Trump’s Report Card

Destroying America————“A”

Creating a fascist republic——“B”

Lying to the American people—-“A”

Destroying trust in the media—“A”

Working for Russian interests——“B”

Destroying U.S. intelligence agencies–“B”

Creating a cult of personality in the Republican Party—“A”

Committing treason——————“A”

Making Americans distrustful in one another—–“A”

Rigging Elections————————-“A”

Destroying NATO and other U.S. partnerships——“C”

Destroying U.S. economy————–“C”

Destroying  U.S. environment—————-“A”

Now Melania slowed down to study what was written in the personal comments section.

Donald you are making steady progress toward attaining your goals.

Keep up the good work.

One day soon you will have complete control of your nation and your people.

Remember that we will always protect you and be at your side,

Your mentor,

Vladimir

Melania slipped the note back in the pocket and threw the jacket on the floor as she

remembered some of the grades on her report cards.

What the readers are saying:

Thumbs up.—Elaine

Cute! Thanks!— Avi

Mort Laitner “A+”—-Joel

Nice. Thanks. —Barbara

Only “B” in working for Russian interests? I’d give him an “A+”, Mort!—Lois

Ha Ha, As always.—Ricki

Funny & not so at the same time. —Kathie

Marc Strauss Why don’t you do one for Obama, oh that’s right to many D’s

 
 
Kathie Oleksa Difficult because Obama didn’t do any of those things.

213
 
Marc Strauss Doubled our debt than all other presidents, bowed down to Saudi prince, irs attacking conservative groups, Michelle going to Spain on vacation with dozens of staff, Benghazi, uranium deal to Russia via Canadian company, supplying weapons to Mexican carSee More

 
 
Robert Johns Marc Strauss don’t forget billions to Iran, uranium to Russia, fast and the furious, building up ISIS, etc., etc., etc..

11
 
Marc Strauss Robert Johns yup, notice she didn’t answer lol MAGA

11
 
Kathie Oleksa Marc Strauss MAGA=MOSCOW AGENTS GOVERNING AMERICA. That’s what you support, hero.

 
 
Marc Strauss Kathie Oleksa typical SJW snowflake try having a conversation instead of your attempt at humor and sarcasm your not that good, and if

 
 
Marc Strauss Remember Russia is not communist anymore but Obama’s Cuba is,

 
 
Kathie Oleksa Marc Strauss how about the secret deal 45 made regarding stealing more of Ukraine by putin. How ya gonna spin that one?

 
 
Marc Strauss Kathie Oleksa the weakness of Obama’s administration in Syria showed the Russians that the United States would not interfere…remember he drew a line in Syria than backdown…that gave Putin the power to know nothing would come out of his illegal actSee More

 

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July 19, 2018

“A Fly on the Wall” A Mort Laitner Short Story

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“A Fly on the Wall” by Mort Laitner

 

TOP SECRET ASSIGNMENT (FOR YOUR EYES ONLY)

Where: Royal Palace Helsinki, Finland;

Who will be present: Putin, Trump and two translators;

When: Afternoon of July 16, 2018;

Why: A two-hour private meeting between the two heads of state needs to be recorded;

Task: Bug the meeting with an insect-size autonomous audio-recording robot.

Since room will have been swept prior to meeting “The Dragon Fly” (DF) must accompany

leaders as they enter room.

REPORT

As the private conference room doors swung open, I directed “DF” along the ceiling and

landed the robot on black curtains behind four chairs. I activated tape recording system.

SUMMARY OF MEETING

Vladimir and Donald shook hands and then ordered translators to leave room and wait in

office two doors down.

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July 18, 2018

Mr. Rodgers’ Party A Mort Laitner Essay

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Mr. Rodgers’ Party  A Mort Laitner Essay

As each of my three sons reached the age of three, I introduced them to the “Mr. Rodgers

Neighborhood”  TV show.

Remember that PBS show.

Remember the words to the theme song, “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?”

Remember when Fred zippered his cardigan and tied his sneakers.

Remember the puppets, the marionettes (King Friday XIII), the fish tank and that red and

yellow trolley car.

You and your kids were enthralled in the “Land of Make Believe.”

Fred with his soft monotone voice, treated children with respect.

That was and still is pretty rare on TV as well as all other aspects of our children’s lifes.

He never yelled, nor raised his voice or nor showed any raw emotion.

You may ask yourself where is Mort going with this story?

Well as I watched MSNBC it hit me.

Chuck, Nancy and Adam had taken on the aura of Mr. Fred Rodgers. 

They live in a testosterone and estrogen free-zone neighborhood. 

 Soft-spoken, respectful, emotionless Rodgers clones who

measure their words far too carefully and who speak softly while carrying neither sticks

nor sharp verbal barbs.

Living in the “Land of Make Believe” where those bullied with nuggies,

wedgies and crammed in lockers end up running a nation.

Fred never won any elections except in the hearts of his three-year-old viewers.

Well if Chuck, Nancy and Adam don’t change they will bring their party the luck of King

Friday XIII.

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July 12, 2018