As the president of one of America’s largest writers organizations, I have often been asked, “Mort, do writers make better lovers?”
I respond with a hearty, “How-the-hell-would-I-know.”
But now, through years of diligent research, I have determined that most writers are better equipped to handle the complexities of coitus than plumbers, doctors or Indian chiefs.
“Why?” you may ask.
Well, writers are complex beings, with complex egos.
They possess many attributes like:
- They’re adventurous bed partners. And as we all know, what happens under the covers is always one hell of an adventure.
- They’re creative. But did you know that creativity greases the road to pleasure. While repetitiveness leads to monotony and monotony leads to snoring and snoring leads to frustration. You get the point.
- They’re great communicators or at least some are. Authors are not afraid to say what’s on their mind. And when it comes to sex, that’s quite important. Good verbal banter often leads to heated foreplay.
- They’re passionate. And passion leads to multiple “I love you(s).” And those three small words help achieve multiple you know what(s). Don’t forget that passion also leads to many more love letters, love notes, poems and Hallmark Valentines Day cards.
- Most writers love their partners unconditionally. This is a great attribute because nobody wants to hear, “Honey, your doing it wrong,” while they’re in the heat of passion. An author may write about your flaws and imperfections but he/she won’t bring them up while your under the sheets.
- Most writers are sexy and know how to walk the walk and talk the talk. Well, at least the ones that write romance novels or scripts for X-rated films.
- Most authors are romantics, especially the poets and the song writers. They obsess on the word “love.”
So if you want to be more proficient in bedroom, join us on the first Saturday of every month, in the Pinecrest Library’s Conference Room at 10:30.
Become the writer/lover you always wanted to be.
You won’t regret it.
Disclaimer
The skill or talent of a writer doesn’t inherently correlate with their abilities in bed. Writing is a creative pursuit that requires a different set of skills and attributes than those involved in intimate relationships. While some writers may possess qualities such as empathy, sensitivity, and imagination that could potentially enhance their interpersonal relationships, it ultimately depends on the individual and their personal qualities, experiences, and efforts in cultivating healthy and fulfilling relationships. So, being a good writer doesn’t necessarily translate to being good or bad in bed; it’s more about the individual’s attitudes, communication skills, and willingness to connect with their partner.—Chat GPT
