I studied the titillating Israeli headline, “Protestor Bares Breasts on Top of Giant Menorah.”
I was fascinated.
OMG—not in the Holy Land—not on a symbol of the nation.
What an act of defiance!
What demon possessed this young woman?
Quelle horror!
But before watching the video on YouTube, I closed my innocent eyes and pondered,
“Is it a sin for a married man to see the tits of a young Israeli woman as she sits on top of a menorah?”
As I have always said,”Where is a rabbi when you need one.”
“What effect will these bare-breasted images have on me when I light the candles on Hanukkah?
Thankfully, the media had covered these two offending objects from the public’s view.
My road to heaven rescued by some do-gooder with a Magic Marker.
Carefully, I listened to the commentator discuss the protestor’s behavior and I wondered:
Was she orthodox?
Was she a Sabra?
What will her mother and father think of their daughter’s proclivities?
What year had she made aliyah?
Had she already given birth to a child?
Had she served in the IDF?
Was she an American disguised as an Israeli?
How well-endowed was this mystery woman?
The video, nor the commentary, helped me resolve these issues but I doubted she was frum.
I thanked G-d that she didn’t go “Full Monty.”
I realized the possible effects of such a shanda would have had on the body politic.
Would this act of frontal nudity have caused the government to dissolve?
Would there be a need for new elections?
I’d wait for the cabinet to meet to discuss the repercussions.
How would this act of belligerence effect Israeli-Arab relations?
I wondered.
But new thoughts crept into my brain, “Would the menorah have to be washed, scrubbed and re-blessed by a rabbi for it to be koshered?
Would this reblessing be captured on YouTube?”
As I scanned other YouTube videos, I asked, “Who would have thought that the mammary glands of a young female would cause such a stir in such an ancient land?
And I realized, that only G-d knows the answers to such mysteries.”
