The “F” Word by Mort Laitner
Author’s note: Many of our readers have wondered, “What ever happened to Boris and Natasha?”
The fans said they missed these characters shenanigans. They missed their adventures in the White House.
The readers asked,“Did they go to Helsinki?”
Well readers, your prayers have been answered by the moose and the squirrel who are hot on their trail.
We find the nefarious duo seated in an Amtrak train headed from D.C. to NYC.
“Boris, stop whistling, New York, New York! Vhy are ve on this G-d awful train— in the middle of the night.”
“Natasha, my sweet skinny ogórki, The boss and the Fearless Leader gave us a rush assignment.”
“Vhat assignment?”
“Ve are on our vay to take care of Mr. C.
He is about to “F”!, Boris exclaimed.
Dahling, the four letter vord?
“Not that one— the other one.
“Oh, I get it,” Natasha whispered. “He has become a worm in the Boss’ apple.”
“Dahling, did you bring your trusty Lebedev PL-15?”
“No apple of my eye, it must be made to look like an accident.”
“Boris, my secret agent man, vhat plan have you come up vith?
Natasha paused and continued, “A fall from the top of T Tower or our top secret military
nerve agent?”
“I vill draw you a picture.”
As Boris drew, Natasha watched in awe.
“You are such an artist. You’re as good as Kandinsky or Chagall.”
“Your plan is right out of the Godfather series. A plan as sveet as apples and honey.”
In a low tone Boris sang,
New York, New York It’s a Vonderful town!
The Bronx is up and the Battery’s is down
Fans stay tuned for our the next episode, Your a Hit in the Big Apple or Bye Bye Birdie.
