Behind Their Backs

A Message To Trump Supporters

Satire by Mort Laitner

For months now, I have recorded what my acquaintances said about their friends and relatives who support the Donald.

Let me warn the Trumpers in my reading audience. (I know there are a few of you). Their words were not pretty. You may want to stop reading at this point.

They spoke them in whispers as if  hidden microphones were attached to my suit lapels. Words so softly spoken as if the speaker were preparing for life in a secret police state. Words voiced quietly as if their behind-the- back beliefs gained relevance when said in low monotones.

Sometimes nervous giggles accompanied their thoughts. A soft giggle, “I’m thinking about no longer associating with her.” Followed by a giggle mixed with a snort. “I’ve lost all respect for her.” Another giggle accompanied by a twitch of the head,—a twitch which always indicated that a rant was about to burst out of her mouth—- “Her husband must be feeding her Trump crap in her cereal. The poop that Trump thinks smells like Chanel No. 5 but only destroys the listener’s brain. Doesn’t she know the meaning of misogyny?”

They mock Trumpsters as being illiterate. “I don’t think Uncle Joel ever read a book in his whole life. That explains his inability to think.” This is often followed by Trump’s own quote, “I am loved by the uneducated,” as Donald index finger points to his heart. “I am loved by folks that don’t have high school degrees, as Donald points pistol hands at his head. “These idiots adore me!” as Donald raises his arms in a victory cheer.

They rationalize the Trump supporter’s decision by saying, “I heard that as a child, he was accidently dropped on his head.” The Hillary fan doesn’t ask the obvious question, ” By whom?” but then adds, “That does explain a lot about his political opinions.”

They commiserate about the financial whoas of the Trump fan, “He use to have a high paying job. Then the factory closed and the business moved to China. Now he has eaten through his retirement money—which wasn’t a whole lot to begin with. He never had a retirement plan—other than to do a lot of drinking, screwing, hunting and fishing.  Now he is going to have to live with his kids and on his social security check. Some retirement plan. If my life sucked that bad I’d vote for Trump too. He has got to scapegoat Hillary. She represents his failure and only a winner like the Donald can rescue his sorry ass. An ass that sits in his shitty old car with the Trump bumper sticker pasted to the rear fender. The one that says, ‘Make America Great Again.’ Nobody is going to take that fantasy away from him. He never faced reality in his whole f—ing life and he ain’t going to start now.”

In these conversations, the word “respect” rose up like a cobra out of a snake charmer’s straw basket.

“I had a modicum of respect for him—he has done well in business. But now that a conman has stolen his pea brain and he is not smart enough to keep his retarded political views to himself, I don’t respect one single bone in his reptilian body.”

I was not surprised when the few Trumpsters in my circle stopped voicing their support for the Donald and only parroted their Fox News anti-Hillary propaganda.

They feared being mocked, ridiculed, laughed at and thrown out of their circle of friends.

Silence disguised their opinions.

The same silence that hid their ignorance.

Please share with your friends and relatives that support the Donald. You will not change their minds but at least they will know what is being said behind their backs.

I’m Hillary Clinton and I Support this Message

What the readers are saying:

Steven Kunis When will Hillary hold a press conference? Why hasn’t she?

Another job well done by Mort Laitner—Ricky

Hillary has so much baggage and evil in her path. I would rather have a loud mouth than a devious person who does things to hurt the USA—Allan

Good one!! —Cary

She’s going to win by landslide although I find her an awful candidate and am disgusted I have to vote for someone I don’t trust….and yes, the alternative is worse…e.

Thanks for the entertaining story. I enjoyed it!—My son Travis

Love it! Somebody of those Trump supporters are my own flesh and blood but I think their blood is tainted with Vampires blood! You know some of them Mort and it is not a pretty sight to see what they have become! If I wasn’t Jewish, I’d cross myself!—Toby