Natasha: Dahling, are we going to steal the US election as a present for our Fearless Leader?
Boris: Natasha, first allow me to introduce myself to these lovely people. My name is Boris Badenov and this is my beautiful partner, Natasha Fatale. In the 1960’ties, ve vere Soviet spies. Ve now vork for Russia’s new president. His code name is Fearless Leader.
Natasha: Dahling, now please answer my question.
Boris: Of course, ve are my little Russian pumpkin seed. Ve have already planted one of our paid agents as his campaign manager. Ve have gotten him to be our, how do they say it in Hollywood, ah yes, Manchurian Candidate. He owes our Russian comrades lots of money and he will never release his tax returns. So the Americans vill never no how much he is in our pocket.
Natasha: Our Fearless Leader praises him and immediately he responds like an Amazonian parrot. He calls the Fearless Leader— a man he wants to emulate. The KGB finds him too easy to manipulate with those small hands and that gigantic ego.
Boris: Ve got him to say he not a fan of NATO and he may not protect those little Eastern European nations like Estonia. He doesn’t care about treaties. They are only vords on paper. Vhen ve hand him those emails, he vill vin the election.
Natasha: The Fearless Leader will be so happy with us. He will promote us, give us a dasha and a metal.
Boris: But first my sweet cup of borsht, remember ve must get the moose and squirrel.
What the readers are saying:
Vas vaiting for moose and squirrel dahling!!— Cary
Hello again. Do you remember me?
I am cousin Dmitri – second cousin twice removed from Aunt Olga and Uncle Tiberius! I vant to go to American inauguration. I’m so used to cold here in my little Dasha in Siberia vhat difference could it make? Vearing a fur coat I’m used to! I could help serve Beluga caviar and Wodka to all the incoming politicians! I learn to say ‘Yes’ and ‘Thank You’ already! Such a vit I am. Please send ‘It is okay’ by the next droshki leaving at daylight! Now to go back to Russian soap opera “As Mother Russia Turns!” Luv, Cousin Dmitri.
Hahahahaha…hahaha!!!—Eva
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